Written on March 20th:

To improve my draft, I could include information from authors studied during the happiness section of class in order to further build the conversation I create within my writing, as well as to support or refute the claims that I make about happiness from my own life. An author that I was thinking of was Catherine Sanderson and her Science of Happiness Ted talk. I believe that would be the best choice because her talk encompasses a very broad view on what it means to be happy from a scientific and evidence-based approach to show general trends between certain factors that affect happiness.  I could also work on making my thesis clearer through elaborating on the point that I am attempting to make. I would need to cite Catherine Sanderson’s “The Science of Happiness” in my introduction paragraph as well. I should find more quotes from the texts to continue to build the conversation that I strived to create. There is a place in my essay where I could have used a quote from restack after using a quote from Samuel in order to refute the idea and weigh in with my own input about that particular topic. My essay could be organized better to contribute to a good flow of ideas through using transitions better. I should be referencing the sentences before my new sentences in order to prevent choppiness and lead the reader to understanding the point that I am attempting to make.