Peer Revision for Technology Essay, Essay 2
Bella Crugnale:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GOlvy0LfPCGK7Qh9DpIj6VPPkmuHpLq_7FkszuFL5TA/edit Ty Wilhemson: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yJk0bkU68ajjdSqmRC1IxR9bBjUZlIBe4pEgRCigxx4/edit While editing Ty’s essay I suggested to him to include more when introducing the Authors. It is important to introduce the authors by saying who they are, what they do, what text you are referencing and what they say in those texts to give structure to yours ideas as well as give credit to these authors when you talk about them throughout your essay. I also suggested for him to make his thesis statement clearer as…