To write this paper I went through four rounds of revision. I did two rounds of revision for my first draft, one round of revision for my second draft and one final round of revision before I turned in my final product. For the first draft I wrote about three pages of my paper and during class we were assigned peer revision groups. My professor also looked at my paper and made comments. The  comments I received from my professor and classmates were very helpful in making global changes to my essay. I also wrote feedback for the essays of my classmates. I elicited changes to my essay based on my classmates and teachers feedback, as well as added more content to the paper. After adding more content to the paper and making changes, classmates reviewed my second draft. This time classmates looked for mechanical errors in my paper regarding punctuation, grammar and sentence structure. I made finishing touches to the content of the paper and had a friend from class read over the essay to see if they had any suggestions, as well as to determine if my overall argument was communicated effectively. I elicited final changes based off of my friends suggestions, then turned the paper into my professor for grading.

I added more content to my essay based off of my professors comment regarding his suggestion to include information from Gilbert and Sanderson about feeling financially secure, then using information from Brooks or Sanderson to argue about the professions that we choose. This provided for good content that was relevant to my argument and could easily be related back to my thesis in an effective manner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Based on this comment, I could write two more paragraphs. This was helpful because I was having trouble generating ideas and the teachers feedback gave me two strong topics to write about in my body paragraphs.

Another global change that was made was a suggestion by my friend to use a specific quote from Sanderson in my essay that was relevant to my topic. This was helpful because not made my overall argument stronger, supporting it well.

The final edit I made to my paper was clarifying what the thesis was in the introduction paragraph. I had to prune some information from the beginning of the introduction paragraph to make it more obvious to the reader that I was arguing about how working towards a profession and being financially secure leads to happiness.